Sunday, March 1, 2009

Plan B?

These past few weeks I've been ambushed with some heavy thoughts, mostly about the future and the choices that will need to be made. There is one thought that had been incessantly hounding me no matter what I do.

If the Dream Act Fails, if there is no Immigration Reform, if things don't change. Then what?

In the past I've toyed with the idea of leaving, but it always was just an intangible idea that I managed to push back. I always come back to the same place; what about my family? That question stops me in my tracks, and keeps me moving past the uncertainty of this life.

Now, as the days progress, my hopes cling to the passage of DREAM. I send emails to congress people, scour the news, support whom I can when I can, and generally try to keep a positive view. However the thought lingers, "then what?", and when it comes up, my mind gets going.

The responsibility I have in my family weighs heavy on me. The impotence of this situation weighs even heavier.

I know that I cant postpone my life much longer if all were to remain unchanged, yet I also feel that if I were to leave, I would be abandoning my loved ones at a time of great need.

But how long can I keep my head down as I trudge through this storm?


  1. There is a point where you just have to be selfish and think about yourself. Time keeps moving and we have lives to live. However, even though I have made the decision to leave if nothing changes in the next couple of years, I dread having to go through it.

    PS: I just developed my second roll, I just need a new scanner, my current one is just horrible.

  2. Wow, that comment is horribly worded. I guess "just" was the word of the day.

  3. Yeah, I hear you with the impotence of not being able to do anything about our situation weighing us down. It sucks.

    Leaving or not leaving. That is the great question. My parents are leaving and then it will be up to me. I shudder when I think about it but the day is approaching...

  4. Hi Pal... Don't get discouraged, everything happens for a reason. First of all the Dream could collapse completely...Why? Because The Greenback in the U.S. is GOD.... Even when you try to do it legal...whats the 1st thing they ask you at the Embassy when you need a visa???
    HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE IN THE BANK?? that a mas worth? Think about this...
    If you get deported what will happen? I know you've made a lot of ties in the U.S. and it will be a culture shock to go to Mexico...but pal..look at the positive side...People here are FRIENDLY and they have culture..even though Americans try to bury that thought. You might discover that you went to heaven... I chose to come to Mexico...I cant stand the arrogance and political bullshit of Police State Amerika... We welcome you back if you come..Hope your DREAM doesnt get shattered.

  5. I cant believe I left my family. After reading this, Im so scared, what if I never see them again?
    I cant believe I didnt even cry.
    I cant believe I didnt take the time to really hug my mom.
    what the fuck did I do, I wish I could go back and hug her. =(