I have been driving since I was 17. It is risky to do so since I obviously don't have a license. Yet I started to drive out of necessity, because most of the jobs I've held aren't close to where I live. That and the fact that I work in a city that's located one and a half hours way from where my parent's home is (no train to it, only ICE infested Greyhound).
I don't take this small pleasure for granted, as I know of many DREAMers who don't drive because of the risk involved. I respect their choice, because I understand that we're not all one homogeneous clump and are all entitled to our own discretion.
Through out my 10 or so years of driving I have been blessed by some force (call it what you may), and have not been involved in any accidents. I was however, pulled over by a police officer about a year ago ( i'll go into that more another time), but things could have been a lot worse I suppose.
I've noticed recently that what started out as a need, is now becoming something else.
Driving to me has started to become a way to kind of let go of my "undocumented-ness" . I tend to forget that I don't have papers while I'm driving. Yea, in a lame way, it makes me feel "normal". I guess about as normal as I can feel.
Since I've been on my own, crashing relatives and friends' houses for some time now, my car has become my "home". When I feel out of place at my aunt's, or i just cant deal with the stress of whatever is happening, I go for a drive because I get comforted just by driving aimlessly through the city night.
It's a weird dilemma. I feel comfort but at the same time I'm subconsciously aware of the danger. Checking mirrors, controlling my speed, maintaining safe distances.
I think that once I take that (dreaded by some, anticipated by me) DMV driving test, I'll pass with flying colors, and then go for a drive.
