Coming Out to Mahal

Mahal is my coworker. We have worked together for about five months now and we get along great, she is a sweet young lady with a solid head on her shoulders and a great sense of humor. we are both foodies and she has been feeding me with some awesome Filipino cuisine and other snacks. We laugh at our dumb customers and have some awesome therapy sessions.

And she also has a sixth sense.

I've been having one of those rough patches where i tend to just drift off in to my thoughts at work, and Mahal has been keenly aware of it.
-Hey dood, are you ok over there gabe?
Yes (smile)
Hey Mahal...whats our patient/doctor confidentiality level?
-Gabe. you know you can tell me anything. whats on your mind.
well i need to figure out how to phrase it but.
-its ok take your time
Thanks.
- are you Illegal.
erm. yes. well. im undocumented.

That's how the conversation Started.

I could feel my heart racing faster let her know my situation, although due to the nervousness i edited my story a bit. She told me that she was not to informed on the issue but that she would hear me out, and as i spoke i could see genuine concern and worry on her face. I explained that my only options where marriage or bust.

Mahal said that she kinda suspected it. I asked why. She told me "well you're really smart, have a college degree and are hard working, so i wonder why youve been working here so long." I guess there are signs.

She joked "if i were single id marry you gabe"
You're not my type Mahal- i joked back

I told her how now i could break my rule of not adding coworkers on Facebook and she smiled.

As i left for home i asked her if this changed anything or made things weird (there was some akwardness in the air, naturally). Mahal smiled and said no

see you tomorrow Gabe

"Oh"

The reason behind the Hermitage:


Jan. 2007 - Dinner at Pasta Pomodoro. time unknown.

"....i am undocumented"

she looks uncomfortable. Fiddles with her food. mutters "oh" with out looking at me.

1.5 years fizzle before me and she disappears in front of my eyes.

Telling Lance

I have known Lance since I was 16. We had pre-calculus together, hung out during lunch and passed several Saturday schools (due to tardies) together. I consider him one of my closest friends.

Yet I had never told him my status. It always made me uncomfortable, having to avoid the reasons why i kept postponing that awesome trip to Mexico we both wanted to take (Lance lived in Uruguay for 2 years, and probably speaks better Spanish than me), or having to embellish on my shitty job situation.

Last night via Facebook (of all places) I linked Lance to the intro of this blog. His reaction below:

9:56pmLance

That is very powerful!

i had no idea that you were undocumented or not technically a citizen

9:57pmGabriel

me neither really

not until 16

but its been a secret too long

and since i am tired of hiding it

i wrote about it

and have started to tell my closest friends

9:58pmLance

That really blows my mind

is there any recourse to becoming a citizen now...

or are you screwed if you turn to the government?

9:59pmGabriel

no path way but marrige

and i wont do a fake one

or this legislation

DREAM Act

which is what i advocate for

10:00pmLance

i am going to look it up

10:00pmLance

I can't imagine the idea of you not be allowed to become a citizen

10:00pmGabriel

en verdad

10:01pmLance

you are as much of an american to me as anyone else i know...

I Came Out

To my friend Carla. We were hanging out and during our conversation we got into a discussion on politics, which led to who we voted for. So instead of once again lying, I just told her.

I can't vote.
Oh you're not a citizen yet?
No actually I'm undocumented

It was pretty surprising how easy it was to say.

A lesson from Harvey

I want to recruit you for the fight to preserve your democracy! Brothers and Sisters, you must come out! come out to your parents, come out to your friends, if indeed they are your friends, come out to your neighbors, come out to your fellow workers. Once and for all, let's break down the myth and destroy the lies and distortions. For your sake, for their sake. For the sake of all the youngsters who've been scared by the votes from Dade to Eugene. On the Statue of Liberty it says ' Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free.' In the Declaration of Independence it is written, 'All me are created equal and endowed with certain unalienable rights.' For Mr. Briggs and Mrs. Bryant and all the bigots out there, no matter how hard you try, you can never erase those words from the Declaration of Independence! No matter how hard you try you can never chip those words from the base of the Statue of Liberty! That is where America is!

-Harvey Milk
(San Francisco City Supervisor)

Mr. Milk was right. In his movement against Prop. 6 he implored members of the gay community to come out of the closet and reveal their sexual orientation. He believed that if the public realized how connected they were with the gay community, then they would offer their support. He was correct, the initiative was defeated on November 7, 1978 and even lost in the sponsors (John Briggs) own Orange County, a stronghold of conservatism in the state.

The undocumented student community must also come out. We must tell our stories to our teachers, our friends and anyone who is willing to listen. Because as Mr. Milk believed once they know one of us they they will support us 2 to 1.